


upon many times

by melodramatic



Category: Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Angst, Epilepsy, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, High School, Kid Fic, M/M, Pining, Seizures
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-10
Updated: 2017-09-09
Packaged: 2018-12-22 21:00:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 10,294
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11974926
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/melodramatic/pseuds/melodramatic
Summary: Josh tells Tyler several stories about several different circumstances. None of them involved the intricacies of falling in love.





	1. Chapter 1

Josh blinked at the wall he had been staring at for over an hour now. He counted every dot he could see, every uneven patch of paint, and every blot that formed itself into a picture.

It was dark in Tyler's room, though, so it was hard to see.

After a few minutes, Josh sighed and turned on his back, staring up at the ceiling. He usually had no problem getting to sleep, but Tyler's mom always made them turn in at a ridiculously early hour.

"Psst."

Josh turned his head towards Tyler's bed, blinking a few times.

"Josh? Are you awake?"

He nodded, and then after he didn't hear a response, opened his mouth: "Yeah. You can't sleep, either?"

"Nope," Tyler popped the 'p' and then sighed.

Josh tapped his thumbs on his ribcage and bit his lip. "Is it because of your medication? I thought it was supposed to help you sleep." He heard the rustling of a pillow, and figured that Tyler was turning to face him, despite not being able to see each other.

"It doesn't help me sleep. Just helps my body calm down, so I don't have an episode in my sleep," He corrected.

Josh simply hummed. Him and Tyler hadn't been friends for very long at this point, but neither of them had anything else to do, and both of their parents thought it was good for them to be around one another.

Plus, they could help each other out, since fifth grade math was hard, and Josh seemed to be an expert at it - which was handy in Tyler's case.

"Is Minnie in here?" Josh asked, squinting his eyes to look around the ground.

"Of course," Tyler replied, "She always sleeps by my bed." He reached a hand down and caressed the top of the dog's head softly, not wanting to wake her from her slumber.

"I wish I had a dog. My mom won't let me, because my dad's allergic."

Tyler sat up in his bed and crossed his legs, "My brother is allergic to dogs, too. But my mom gives him pills for it, so we can keep her."

Josh sat up, too, mirroring Tyler's newfound desire for conversation, "Maybe your mom should give some to my dad so he can stop being allergic, too!"

"Yeah, maybe. We can ask her in the morning. She doesn't like it when I wake her up," The other boy replied, swinging his legs so that they were dangling on the edge of the bed.

"Oh, okay. Yeah, my mom doesn't like that either," Josh replied, shrugging.

Tyler pursed his lips and sighed, laying back down on his bed, prompting Josh to do the same.

He looked up at the ceiling, which was decorated with glow-in-the-dark stars. It was beautiful, and Josh hoped he would remember them when he got home, so he could ask his parents to get some for him.

"Hey."

Josh turned his head again.

"Tell me a bedtime story," Tyler requested, propping his head up on his elbow.

Josh sat up as well, "Okay. Like... what kind?"

"I dunno. Just something to help me sleep."

"Um-"

"But it better be cool. Like... with dragons and knights and... superheros."

Josh sucked in a breath. His mind raced for prompts - that was a lot he was supposed to incoorperate into a story he had to make up on the spot. But as he focused on the shape of Tyler's face and made out the expectant look he had, he found himself not wanting to dissapoint the boy.

"Once upon a time-"

Tyler groaned, and Josh's eyebrows furrowed.

"That's how every bedtime story starts. Make a new way," Tyler said.

Josh huffed out a breath. "Twice upon a time-" He heard Tyler giggle, and smiled, figuring he was on the right track, "There were two young... knights. Their names were Sir..." His eyes flickered up to the ceiling, "Sun and Sir Moon. They were both super cool and everybody loved them, because they had these awesome super powers where they could move things with their minds. But one day, the peaceful villiage was visited by two ginormous dragons," Josh sat criss-crossed on the bed and began making motions with his hands to emphasize his points, "And the dragons were really big and scary and even the king of the villiage didn't want to fight the dragon."

"What were the names of the dragons?" Tyler asked.

Josh pursed his lips and looked around the room again, and at Tyler's nightstand, which had a lamp with a multicolored shade.

"Fire and Ice. Yeah. Because one of them spit fire, and the other one spit ice."

Tyler nodded, intrigued, silently waiting for the other boy to continue.

"So, anyways, Fire and Ice were the meanest dragons of all, and Sir Sun and Sir Moon were sent to go destroy them-"

"Were they scared?"

"Huh?"

"The knights. Were they scared?"

Josh shook his head, "No, not at all. They weren't scared of anything."

Tyler looked down at his bed and began tracing a pattern on his sheet, "Even of dying? Were they scared that they might die?"

And then there was silence bestowed upon the room, because Josh wasn't sure if Tyler was still referring to the story.

Nevertheless, he played along.

"Nope. They weren't even afraid to die. Even though they sometimes got... hurt. They never died and they weren't afraid. So, they went to fight the dragons and even though the dragons were super, super strong - like, super strong, the two knights won. Because they were the bravest and strongest of knights ever. And the coolest," Josh finished, with a smug look on his face.

Tyler chuckled, and then sighed, laying down on his back.

"Did you like the story?" Josh asked, beginning to lay down, as well.

Tyler nodded and sniffled, wiping his hand under his nose. "Goodnight," He said softly, turning so that his back was facing the other boy.

Of course, Josh returned the "goodnight" but he couldn't help but feel like he had done something wrong, even though he knew he hadn't.

"Are you okay?" He whispered.

But Tyler didn't answer. Instead, Minnie suddenly jumped up onto Tyler's bed, cuddling up with him and falling right back to sleep.

Josh sighed and turned around as well, blinking at the wall again, and making shapes out of the bumpy paint until he finally fell asleep.

//://

There were things they didn't talk about. They didn't talk about school much, unless they were doing homework together, they didn't talk about how the when the wind picked up, and the tree tapped against Tyler's window at night, that it would scare Josh half to death, and he would ask Tyler to check the closets for him.

And they did not talk about Tyler's epilepsy. Not that the subject was taboo, it just simply did not come up very often.

It didn't come up when Tyler missed a day of school, it didn't come up when Tyler couldn't get out of bed, and it didn't come up when Tyler claimed he never wanted to watch a scary movie.

Maybe Tyler and Josh had an unspoken connection that allowed them to talk without opening their mouths, and maybe they didn't. Either way, Josh watched Tyler's face carefully as they peiced together a puzzle that Josh had picked out.

"Do your parents always do this?" Josh asked, referring to the whisper-shouted conversation Tyler's parents were having in the kitchen. The topic was, as always, about their son.

He shrugged, trying to shove a peice in the wrong place, "Yeah, sorta."

Josh put a gentle hand on Tyler's, softly pushing it aside, "That peice doesn't go there. It goes here, next to Cinderella's head."

Tyler furrowed his eyebrows together and placed the peice where Josh was pointing, with a steady finger.

"Wanna go into your room? It would be harder to hear them, probably," Josh stated, searching Tyler's eyes for an answer. He just couldn't help but keep himself concerned with this boy.

But he shook his head, "No, it's alright. I like the living room better. It's bigger."

"Okay."

Minne got up from Tyler's side and headed to the kitchen, and then Josh realized this was one of the very few times that he had seen Tyler without his dog.

"How old is she?" Josh asked.

"Almost three, in human years," Tyler replied without hesitation, connecting another piece. He then tucked his knees close to his chest and sighed, putting his head down. "Josh," He whined, "Can you help me connect the last peices?"

Josh chuckled and nodded, moving so that he was next to the boy, rather than across from him.

"Look, it's easy," He said, as the conversation between Tyler's parents grew louder, "If you can't find the right shapes, then connect them by their colors. This peice is blue with white ruffles. And Cinderella's dress had white ruffles on the bottom. So this peice probably goes..." He clicked it into place, on the righthand corner of the picture, "Here."

"Wow," Tyler marveled, despite it not actually being that impressive. "You're really smart, Josh." He looked towards his right, to make eye contact with his friend.

Josh grinned, "Thanks."

There was a second in time where the only thing that existed besides them was the air between their bodies. Everything else was less important and less trustworthy.

"Do you wanna spend the night?" Tyler asked, looking down to the ground.

Josh nodded immediately, "Yeah, I'd really like to. I like being here."

"Cool," Tyler said picking up the last puzzle piece, and giving Cinderella her shoe, "Why did you pick this puzzle for us?"

Josh shrugged, "I don't know. I just liked it."

Tyler was silent for a second, before speaking in barely above a whisper, "My brother told me that princesses are only for girls."

Right as Josh was about to say something else, they both looked towards the hallway, at footsteps that were marching angrily down the hall. The tall man stepped right through the living room without acknowledging either one of the boys, and darted out the front door, slamming it shut.

Tyler and Josh exchanged looks.

"What was that all about?" Josh asked.

Tyler shrugged, "I dunno. It happens sometimes."

Josh hummed and looked towards the front door, and then towards the hallway, wondering if Tyler's mom was going to come out soon.

And then there was a weight on his shoulder, where Tyler had rested his head.

And of course, Josh recirpocated the action by placing his arm around the boy.

"You okay?" He asked.

Tyler nodded, "Yeah. I'm fine. Just got really tired for some reason."

"Do you wanna go lay down in your bed?"

"Mm... maybe later," Tyler replied, sighing and nudging himself further into Josh's side. "Can you tell me another story?"

"Like a bedtime story?" Josh wondered aloud, looking across the room at the clock. The evening had just fallen.

"Well, yeah, except it's not bedtime. So like... a bedtime story, except we don't go to bed at the end," He said.

"Okay. Um... let me think-"

"Wait!" Tyler interuppted before Josh even began, shooting into an upright position, "I have a better idea. Let's build a fort in my room, and then we can tell stories to each other in it!"

"Yeah, that's an awesome idea!" They both got up from in front of the living room table, and headed towards Tyler's room, leaving their finished puzzle in the living room.

So, they gathered as many pillows as they could find, as many blankets as they knew existed, and even moved Tyler's bed so that they were at a 45 degree angle.

They spread the blankets over the two headposts, and then another blanket to cover up the entrance.

"Your brother won't get mad that we're using his bed and blankets for this?" Josh asked.

Tyler shook his head, "He's not even coming hone tonight. He's at my uncle's house."

"Oh, okay. How come he goes there and you don't?"

"My mom doesn't like me going places without her," Tyler stated simply, laying a sheet down for the foor of their fort, "It's fine, though. I'd rather be here and hang out with you."

"Really?" Josh asked with wide eyes. He always had thought that Tyler was bored with him.

Yet, Tyler met his expression with a humored one, "Of course, really. You're my best friend, Josh."

With a newfound sense of pride Josh chuckled and said a quiet 'thank you.' Maybe he was a little more flattered than he should've been, but then again, he also really did like hanging out with Tyler.

It was just nice to know that Tyler felt the same.

"So," Tyler said, laying down on his side and propping his head up with his hand, "It's story time."

Josh smiled and copied Tyler's position, stroking his chin in a playful manner, which made Tyler giggle. And Josh decided he loved the sound.

But, he hardly had time to open his mouth and suck in a deep breath before there was a timid knock on the door.

"Ty? Are you in there, sweetheart?" A feminine voice asked, coming from the other side of the door.

A slightly-annoyed Tyler crawled out from the fort and then begrudgingly stood up to open the door up for his mom.

"Mom," He said, dragging the syllables, "We're in the middle of something."

"Well, I need you to take your medicine a little early, because we have to go to your uncle's house and pick up your brother," She replied, standing with a cocked hip that combatted the exhaustion beneath her eyes.

"But - Josh was gonna spend the night. Plus, we're making a fort," Tyler faught, putting a dissapointed look on his face.

Josh poked his head from the sheet that hung over the entrance, flashing a large smile, "Please, Mrs. Joseph?"

"Don't you have school tomorrow, Josh?" She asked, checking her phone.

"Nope!" He replied immediately, "It's Columbus day."

She sighed and ran a hand through her hair, sighing, "Fine, you kids stay here. Josh - watch Tyler, okay? I'll be back in an hour and a half, tops. You still need to take your medicine, Tyler. And I'll leave my phone number on the table in case you need me, okay?"

"I will! We'll be safe, mom!"

"You better," She said, already heading towards the front door.

Tyler turned around and let out a breath of relief, "Dude, I'm so excited. My mom never lets me stay home alone."

Josh chuckled, and hoped that wasn't a bad thing.

Soon enough, though, the clock was reaching the third hour of Mrs. Joseph being gone, but neither Tyler nor Josh were all that worried. Maybe they should've been, but they were far too busy raiding the dessert cabinet to even think of her.

There was a small, bright yellow bottle of pills next to the sink that hadn't moved since Mrs. Joseph put them there, and maybe they should've been concerned about that, too.

"Dude, these cookies are amazing," Josh said with wide eyes, "Your mom made them?"

Tyler shook his head, "My dad. He's the best cook in our family. My mom doesn't let me have that much sugar, though, so you better not tell her that we're eating these."

Josh laughed, and then put a finger over his mouth, "I won't if you won't."

Tyler put his cookie down on their plate and crawled towards Josh, whispering in his ear, "My lips are sealed."

And for some reason, in the moment, that was the funniest comment ever. So, of course, Josh burst out into laughter, and so did Tyler.

"You have to throw away the key. Zip your lips and throw away the key, or else it doesn't count," Josh claimed, crossing his arms and giggling.

Tyler did as he was told, with bright red cheeks and a bubbly chest, as he zipped his lips and threw away the key to them. He attempted to speak with his mouth closed, only a muffled sound was heard.

Josh clutched his stomach, he was laughing so hard, and Tyler eventually did the same.

"Hey! You can't open your mouth! You threw the key away!" Josh said, pointing a finger.

"Well, that's not..." Tyler began, but slowly drifted off, his laughter dying with the sentence.

Once Josh caught his bearings, he quirked an eyebrow, "Are... you okay?"

The smaller boy nodded, "Yeah, I'm - I'm okay. I just feel kinda... weird."

Josh silently scooted closer, taking a closer look at his friend.

"What did you say?" Tyler asked suddenly.

Josh shook his head, "I didn't say anything."

"Oh. I thought - I. You smell that? I don't feel - I need to lay down, Josh-" The sentence came rather quickly, not giving Josh the chance to respond to anything, before suddenly Tyler was attempting to stand fully, but as he shot up, his head hit the blanket above them, causing it to collapse onto his head.

His arms flailed about, as he tried to remove it, and of all the things that confused Josh, he didn't understand why Tyler didn't simply remove the blanket and laugh it off, like he would've normally done.

Instead, he seemed scared and panicked. Almost to an unreasonable degree.

So Josh stood up, too, easily removing the blanket to reveal a wide-eyed Tyler, who remained completely still for one or two seconds, before collapsing onto the ground.

"Tyler!" Josh shouted, kneeling down and lifting his head up. He was still awake, still conscience, except his body began convulsing, right in Josh's arms.

He looked around in disbelief - almost as if he wasn't sure if this was actually happening - and then back down at Tyler, who appeared unaware of his own actions.

"Tyler? Can you hear me?" Josh asked, desperately trying to make any sort of connection with him. He simply had no idea what he was supposed to do.

There was a sound. The front door clicked open and there were footsteps, and Josh could not have been more relieved.

"Help!" He shouted at the top of his lungs, "Help, please!"

Suddenly, the footsteps picked up, and then in the blink of an eye, Tyler's mom was moving Josh out of the way to carefully lull Tyler onto his side, and fix his arms facing the same way. She held him gently while his muscles flailed, and then grabbed the nearest pillow she could get a hold of, placing it beneath Tyler's head.

"How long has this been going on?" She asked, without looking back at Josh.

"Um - like, I don't know, a minute? Maybe two?" He replied, twirling his fingers in his hands. Despite his tiny bit of relief that an adult was now here, he was still concerned for his friend.

"Is he going to be okay?" He asked.

"Yeah, he'll be fine. Did he forget to take his medicine, again?" She asked.

Josh couldn't remember him taking it at any point, so he nodded, and the woman sighed and shook her head.

"God dammit!" She cursed, "I knew I should've taken him with me, I knew it!"

"What's going on?" Another boy asked, entering the room.

"Get out of here, Zack, your brother is just having another fit."

He nodded, and left with a concerned look on his face.

"He always has to take his medinine, Josh. Always," Mrs. Joseph said, looking back at him, "Any sudden changes in his medication could make this happen, okay?"

Josh nodded again, his heart sinking to his stomach.

Thankfully, after about another few minutes, Tyler slowly stopped convulsing, and when it appeared that he had stopepd fully, his mother picked him up and gently placed him on his bed, stroking his hair while he blinked his heavy eyelids for a few minutes, and then spoke.

"Josh," He said softly.

"No, honey, its me, your mom."

He closed his eyes again, and mumbled something under his breath, before falling right asleep.

Mrs. Joseph sighed and took in a shaky breath, forcing a smile as she turned towards Josh.

"I'm really sorry, I should've reminded him to take it. I'm really sorry, Mrs. Joseph. Is he okay?" Josh spewed, taking small steps to get closer to the bed.

"Yes, he's fine. He's going to be pretty sleepy for a little bit, but he's fine. And it's okay, I forgive you. After all, it's his medicine," She replied, as she began checking his arms and legs for any muscular damage he may have done. His convulsions were pretty mild, though, so there were more than likely to be no injuries.

"I'm not mad," She stated, "Just... make sure he takes his medicine next time. And no more excessive amounts of sugar." Her eyes flicked to their plate of cookies, and Josh nodded. "You can come here and stay with him, while I go give his father a call. Just stay right here, by his bed, and don't move, okay?"

Josh nodded and did exactly as he was told. He placed a gentle hand atop Tyler's head, stroking his hair just like he had seen Mrs. Joseph do.

About a minute passed by, and then Tyler's eyes began blinking again.

"Josh," He whispered again.

"I'm right here. Your mom went to go make a phone call," He replied, getting on his knees in front of the bed, so that Tyler wouldn't have to strain for eye contact.

"I'm sorry. I ruined it, didn't I?" He mumbled, as tears began to stream down his face.

Josh pulled down his sleeve and began wiping the tears as they formed. He didn't know exactly what Tyler was reffering to when he said "it" but he assumed he meant their day. "No, you didn't ruin anything. It's perfectly okay, Tyler, really. I still had a lot of fun with you today."

"You did?" He asked.

"Yeah! I always have fun with you. You're my best friend."

Tyler grinned, and set out his hand, face up. Josh looked at his hand, and then his face, before getting the signal and placing his own hand there.

"Get in bed, like me," He whispered.

"Um- okay," Josh replied, going to the other side of the bed so that he could tuck himself in, right next to Tyler.

Tyler turned around slowly, so that he was facing Josh. He blinked heavily, and when Josh took him into his arms, he felt his breaths become more even.

"Tell me a story, Josh," Tyler requested, his words muffled into Josh's chest.

Instead of suggesting that maybe Tyler get some sleep instead, Josh simply cleared his throat.

"Once upon a ti-"

"Boring," Tyler interuppted, dragging out the vowels.

Josh chuckled and craned his neck down, to find Tyler already looking up, "Seriously?"

"Yes, seriously," Tyler giggled, "I've told you - like, the one you did last time. Make sure the men aren't scared."

And despite Tyler's sentences hardly being succinct, he knew exactly what the younger boy meant.

"Okay, okay. Upon another time," Tyler giggled and Josh loved it again, "There were two very strong young... boys who loved to fix things." He was expecting some sort of commentary from Tyler, and when he didn't get it, he looked down again.

Tyler was asleep. And even though his body and brain had just gone through massive trauma, he looked so, incredibly peaceful. Like a picture. Josh pushed some fringe from his hair and took a deep breath.

For a second, Josh wondered if it would be weird to tell Tyler that he loved him. Because he did - as a friend, of course, because that was the only type of love he was aware of being able to hold towards someone who wasn't his family. Maybe he'd tell him later.

For the moment, however, he simply looked towards the wall opposite them, and decided that he liked sleeping next to Tyler much more than across the room from him.


	2. Chapter 2

Things, like the stories that Josh constantly told to Tyler, changed.

The weather itself changed more often than the leaves, the song that the birds' sang changed more often than the timing of the sunset, and even the cashier at their local supermarket seemed to change on a daily basis.

These things, and other things, changed.

The relationship between Tyler and Josh changed, too, similar to the progression of the things around them. The changes, however, only ever resulted in them becoming closer together.

Like when Josh witnessed Tyler's first seizure, which ignited a small flame in his heart that beat: _protect, protect, protect._

Or maybe when Minnie suddenly wasn't doing so well and had to leave the family, causing Tyler to break down in absolute sorrow.

And then when middle school rolled around, and Josh had to brave the rough crowd alone, silently thanking God that Tyler was homeschooled and didn't have to deal with this.

And, of course, when high school rolled around and Tyler's dad was gone with the cold, and bitter winter wind. His mother simply didn't have the time to teach him anymore, so off to public school he went. 

Yes, things changed when Josh walked home with Tyler and held the boy in his arms as he cried, and cried, and cried, after the end of the first week.

His heart broke with every sniffle and every tear. He just wanted to see something go well for his best friend for once.

"I - I fucking hate it there, Josh," Tyler cried, "There's so many people, and so many sounds, and - everyone is so _rude_."

Josh attempted to swallow around the lump in his throat as he thought of a response. Because, well, there were lots of people, and for someone like Tyler, who had not only never been to a public school before, but had not been to too many public places in general, it could be overwhelming. 

"I know. But at least you have me there, right?" Josh responded, keeping a tight hold on Tyler and running a hand through his hair.

"I don't feel well," He mumbled into Josh's shirt.

"Wanna lay down in my bed?" Josh asked.

Tyler nodded, and then Josh guided him towards the bed, making sure he was laying on a least one pillow, and then tucked him into the blanket.

He stood there for a moment, and watched as Tyler's eyebrows furrowed and unfurrowed, most likely as he attempted to calm himself down. He had gone almost two and a half months without a seizure now, which was a record. 

But, then there was the stress of school. The stress of fitting in, getting good grades, maintaining a spotless attendance record, and desperately trying to stay out of trouble. It was a lot for anyone to handle - especially a young, and sensitive boy, who was still getting used to the world outside of his home, or a doctor's office.

"Everything is going to be okay," Josh found himself whispering, without even thinking first, "I promise." He knelt down to make eye-contact, and was reminded of all those years ago, when they hardly even knew each other.

Oh, how times had changed.

And how perceptions changed, too.

Because Josh didn't just look at Tyler and see his friend, but he saw someone else. He saw beauty and fragility, in it's most pure form. He saw each tear streak as a mark of courage, and each crease in his forehead as a psalm of intellect. 

And, really, when it came down to it, Tyler was attractive - there was simply no way of getting around it. And when he layed there, wrapped up in Josh's blankets, he was quite adorable. Josh smiled softly, but as his muscles urged him to lean forwards, he stood up.

 _Friends_ , he reminded himself.

"Josh?" Tyler called without opening his eyes, "You're still here, right?"

"Yeah. I'm still here."

Tyler looked up at Josh, and without even having to say a word, he already knew what the boy was asking.

So, he shut the blinds so that the room was rather dark, and then circled to the other side of his bed and layed down, too, immediately feeling the warmth that radiated from Tyler's body.

"Want me to tell you a story?" Josh asked, as Tyler silently tucked himself into the boy's chest. He nodded, and Josh understood the silence.

"Okay, so... There was once a young prince. His name was... Robert," Tyler chuckled, so Josh knew he was off to a good start, "And Prince Robert was trapped in his castle, because there was a large, ugly dragon that circled it all day and all night. He had been trapped there for many, many years, but he also really wanted to see the outside world. Across the town, there was another prince. Prince William."

Tyler chuckled again, and then looked up at Josh, with more clear eyes.

"Is Prince William going to save Prince Robert from the dragon?" He asked.

"Hey, you're spoiling it," Josh replied, his voice bubbling with laughter. 

Tyler kept a soft smile on his face and maintained steady eye contact, which, tended to make Josh's body get just a little bit warmer. It didn't mean anything, though. Well, probably not, anyway.

"Are you feeling a bit better?" Josh asked, letting one hand stroke up and down Tyler's arm, in a soothing motion.

He nodded, "Yeah, a bit. I still wanna take a nap before I get started on my homework, though. Everytime I think about it, I get really stressed out."

"Okay," Josh replied, taking in a deep breath, "Let's take a nap, then."

"I love you."

Josh racked his brain, trying to remember those words ever being meant for him, from Tyler. No, that was the first time.

Oh, God, it was beautiful.

"I love you, too."

Tyler fell asleep shortly after, and although Josh held him then entire time, he did not sleep a wink. 

//:// 

There was one more hot weekend left until next summer. It was supposed to hit almost 90 degrees Fahrenheit, and everybody was planning to go to the river, the lake, or even just the local pool. 

"Are you gonna do anything this weekend, Josh?" One of his classmates turned to ask him. 

He thought for a moment. Going to the lake sounded really fun. Him and Tyler could go by themselves, especially considering it was a nice, secluded area.

But, for the moment, he shrugged, "I'm not sure. Maybe. What about you, Anna?"

She nodded excitedly, "Yeah, me, Carla, and Hunter are going to the river, probably. You should come, if you don't have any other plans. Also, Tyler could come too."

Josh quirked a brow, "You know Tyler?"

"Well, I mean. You guys are always together, it's hard not to know the two of you," Anna said, chuckling at the end of her sentence.

And, well, Josh nodded in agreement. It was a fair point.

"Are you guys going to Homecoming together?" She asked.

Josh shook his head, "Probably not. Tyler doesn't really like dances." Although that wasn't entirely true, it saved him from having to explain why Tyler _couldn't_ attend school dances. 

"What?" She put a hand over her heart, shocked, "You guys have to go! All couples do!"

Josh's eyes went wide as his entire body heated up, from head-to-toe. He shook his head, "Um, no - we're not - we aren't a couple. We're just friends." Just the thought itself was ridiculous. It was ridiculous, right?

"Oh!" Anna responded, switching her hand to rest over her mouth, "I - I am so sorry. Just, that's what everyone says, so-" The bell for the end of class rang, and she immediately got out of her seat, "I'll see you next week, Josh. Sorry, again!"

Josh stayed in his chair for a few more minutes, then sighed as he finally got up, and headed towards the library, where Tyler tended to be after school.

Except he wasn't there today.

So, he went down the many halls and looked for Tyler at his locker. He was there, but he was also there with someone else.

Josh approached Tyler from behind and tapped him on the shoulder, pulling his attention from the other young man he was talking to.

"Oh, hey, Josh. I was just talking to Chris," He said.

Chris smiled politely at Josh, and even though he seemed nice enough, with his blue eyes, and perfectly styled hair, Josh did not like him at all.

"Great," Josh replied, wanting to pull Tyler away from him as soon as possible, "You ready to go?"

"Yeah, sure. Bye, Chris," Tyler said, grabbing his things and waving at him.

Chris waved goodbye, as well, and began walking the other way.

"So, who's Chris?" Josh asked, the second they exited the school.

"He's the T.A. in my Geometry class," Tyler said, pausing for a monent, "I think he likes me."

"A teacher's assistant? What grade is he in?"

"Um," Tyler kept his eyes trained on the floor, "He's a... a senior."

Josh's mouth went agape, "A senior?"

Tyler chuckled and smiled, "Yeah, a senior." He looked over at Josh who had an incredulous look on his face.

"What?" He shrugged, "It's barely a three year age difference, Josh." 

"So," Josh started, dragging the vowel out, "You do like him?" 

Tyler thought for a moment, pursing his lips.

"Maybe. I mean, he's hot... and funny. And he asked me to the dance."

Josh's eyebrows shot up as a rock sank down to his gut, "Wait, really?"

"Yeah. I told him I couldn't go, though. I mean, I just told him I didn't like dances, instead of explaining everything. I didn't want to scare him off," Tyler replied, looking back down.

Josh quirked an eyebrow, "Scare him off? Anybody who is interested in you shouldn't be _'scared off'_ by your disorder." He put the phrase in finger quotes, trying to emphasize his point. "In fact, if they are, then they're probably not good enough for you."

Tyler walked in silence for a few seconds, before mumbling, "Yeah, I guess."

Josh nodded, and stayed silent for the next few minutes, promting Tyler to poke him in the shoulder.

"Are you okay?" He asked, after just a bit too long.

Josh nodded again, but something was off. He was never the silent one.

It was just - Tyler was _so_ precious, and _such_ a special human being, it was boderline ridiculous that Tyler felt his condition was something he had to hide from the new people in his life.

He so desperately wanted to tell this to Tyler.

At the moment, however, Tyler looked over at Josh, again, and this time he let his eyes linger just a little bit longer. He looked up at his brown hair that he had expressed interest in dyeing, and then down to his shoulders, his arms, his legs, and Josh _really_ wished he had telepathic abilities at the moment, because he was dying a little bit on the inside to know what Tyler thought of him.

But, Tyler just shrugged, "Okay. If you say so."

Soon enough, their paths split up, as they had to go in opposite directions to their homes, and even though they had spent the whole day together, they still hated this part.

"I'll see you later," Josh managed to creak out through the lump in his throat. Tyler smiled back wearily, clearly still concerned for his friend.

_Tyler (3:26): I miss you already_

Josh looked down at his text and couldn't help but crack a smile. He checked behind him and - yup, he could still see Tyler all the way down the street. They waved at each other, but continued walking their seperate ways.

_Josh (3:26): I miss you too you weirdo_

Man, he really had it bad for this boy.

_Tyler (3:30): let's go to the lake tomorrow_

_Josh (3:31): How? Neither of us have a car_

_Tyler (3:31): my mom can take us_

Josh pursed his lips and nodded, responding that he'd love to go, especially since it was going to be so hot. He secretly hoped it would be just the two of them, and Tyler's mother wouldn't insist on staying. Not that Josh didn't enjoy her company, but the opprotunity to spend an entire afternoon in a secluded area with only Tyler... well, it almost sounded romantic. 

Josh chuckled as he entered his house. 

Romantic. Right. 

He entered his room with a small rock in his gut, and couldn't help but look at himself in the mirror. 

And there he stood. A not-so-tall young man, with a slightly taller best friend, who just had a slightly romantic daydream about his said best friend.

He squinted his eyes at himself.

Did he have a crush on Tyler?

And a chorus of _yes, yes, yes_ 's filled his head faster than his own regular progression of thoughts.

So there he stood, now with a frown on his face.

He wanted to kiss, touch, hold hands with his best friend. Yes, that sounded so nice. It was almost like a flood of relief over his bones - yes, _Tyler_ , how much he wanted to be with _Tyler_ \- and as he raised his fingers to soothe his lips, he wondered what it would be like to kiss him. Not like he hadn't had that thought before, but this time it was different. This time he could let himself dwell on it because, here he was - Mr. Joshua Dun himself, admitting to his reflection that, yes, he had a crush on his best friend, on Tyler, on Tyler Joseph.

He imagined them at the lake, kissing by the rushing water. He imagined them, here, in his room, cuddling, kissing, speaking sweet whispers, _kissing_ , touching, laughing - it was so sweet. It was so sweet and right out of his own reach.

What a shame.

So there he no longer stood - he left from in front of the mirror and sat down on his bed, laying back and looking up at his ceiling.

His bones tingled - no, not his bones. His muscles. He looked down at the bottom half of his body and sighed, unbuckling his pants and reaching a hand down them.

//://

For the next few weeks, it was less about Tyler and Josh and more about Tyler and Chris.

Tyler didn't completely blow Josh off, (of course not, they were still best friends), but every opprotunity Tyler had to spend with his new sweetheart, he did.

"He's _so_ kind," He would constantly rave, especially when they sat down for lunch, which was right after their class together.

Josh nodded along and took a bite of his apple, checking the time. He stopped Tyler right before he took a bite of his sandwhich.

"Hey, you have to take your medicine first," He reminded the boy.

"Oh, right. I can't believe I almost forgot," Tyler chuckled, taking a small and indiscreet pack of pills out of his backpack.

Josh took another bite of his apple, squinting his eyes against the sun. "Does he know yet?"

Tyler huffed out a breath and washed the pill down with his water, taking his time to answer the question. "Does he know what?"

Josh cocked his head to the side, maintaining eye contact.

"No, Josh, he doesn't know. It's not that big of a deal," He replied, picking his sandwhich up and taking a bite.

"It is a big deal, Tyler. Just tell him - if he's so sweet, and so kind, like you say he is, then he won't make a big deal out of it."

Tyler looked away, his jaw tightening. "I'll tell him later."

Josh sighed and shook his head, tossing the rest of his apple into the garbage can right next to them. Suddenly, his appetite had diminished. 

"What about when you have your first seizure in front of him? And he has no idea what to do?" Josh asked, still harping on the subject. He just couldn't stand the idea of Tyler getting hurt. He could already see the dissapointment in Tyler's eyes when Chris was fumbling and fumbling, having no idea what to do as his boyfriend was convulsing right before his eyes - was he dying? Has he been posioned? Should he call an ambulance? Not if it's just a regular, singular seizure.

But Chris wouldn't know what Tyler's usual seizures were like, because he didn't even know that the boy suffered from them yet.

Tyler narrowed his eyes, "Why are you so concerned about this?"

"I'm just... I'm just trying to help," Josh replied, sighing. 

"Well, don't," Tyler snapped, catching Josh off gaurd. They almost never argued - so when one of them got mad, there had to be a valid reason behind it. "I don't need you to baby me, Josh."

"I'm not babying you-"

"That's exactly what you're doing! God, both you and my mom act like I'm not capable of making my own decisions," Tyler said, raising his voice.

"Tyler, wait, listen," Josh said, putting both of his hands on the table, "I'm sorry, okay? But I don't wanna just stand by and watch you let yourself get hurt."

Tyler stood up, throwing his lunch away in the trash, "Then don't," He replied coldly, walking away from the table.

Josh turned around to watch him walk away, and then faced forwards again, putting his head in his hands.

He really was a shitty friend. Even when he tried to help out, his advice went south.

Oh who was he kidding - he clearly was not interested in strengthening the relationship between Tyler and Chris. If Tyler was happy, which he seemed to be, then fine, but that didn't meant that Josh had to support it.

But, in the end, he's support Tyler's relationship with anybody, because Tyler... well, Tyler was his world. His reason to wake up, and his reason to go to bed.

His reason to do anything, really. Because love was the ultimate motivator.

In the moment, however, he hung his head and sighed. He wanted to cry, but did not.

Eventually, the bell rang for their next classes, and Josh headed there alone.

//://

He checked the library after school - Tyler wasn't there, so he checked his locker. He was not there, either.

Josh sighed and pulled out his phone, heading towards the exit. Tyler may have still been upset with him, but that didn't necessarily mean that he wanted to walk home alone.

He clicked Tyler's phone number, and it rang several times, before going to voicemail.

Which was odd, considering he almost never had his phone on silent.

So, instead of continuing to walk their usual path home, Josh roamed the halls for a little bit, thinking of places that Tyler might be.

He could've been in the bathroom, or maybe still in his last class, getting help from his teacher. Yeah, that was probably it.

So Josh headed towards the science hall, when he saw one of his classmates and stopped her - maybe she had seen Tyler somewhere.

"Hey, Anna, have you seen Tyler?" He asked.

She nodded and chuckled, "Yeah, I saw him with Chris White behind the library. But don't tell them I saw anything, okay?" She whispered, looking around to make sure nobody heard her.

Josh nodded, despite not totally understanding what she meant, "Yeah, sure, okay."

He picked up his pace as he headed towards the other side of the school, Anna's words playing over and over and over again in his head. 

And as he approached the library again, he wondered if he even wanted to know what they were up to behind it. The answer may have been obvious to some, but maybe not as obvious to Josh, who seemed to have a special skill in denying the truth.

So, Josh walked along the side of the library, staying close to the wall, and trying not to get clipped by a tree branch.

And when he poked his head around the corner - he shouldn't have been so surprised. Really, he shouldn't've. They were dating, they were allowed to kiss.

But just the sight of it made Josh's heart sink so low, he thought it may have been pressing down on his bladder. 

There the two of them were, linked in almost every way possible. Chris had Tyler pinned against the wall, roughly making out with him. He had one hand on his back, and the other hand gripping his ass, _hard_. Tyler's position was more simple - he had his arms locked around Chris's neck, trying to kiss back just as roughly.

Before either of them could spot Josh, he darted back to where he came from, no longer feeling bad for walking home without Tyler.

Even as he walked and looked up at the sky, and the trees, and looked at the cars passing by, the scene was still far too fresh in his mind. 

And it bothered him to the core of his being. Down to the very fibers of what made him _him_ , it bothered him. Maybe not necessarily the fact that they were kissing, but the way Chris was grabbing him so tightly.

If Josh were the one kissing Tyler, he'd be gentle, because he knows Tyler likes being held and cuddled. He'd let soft touches linger where they were felt the most, and he'd let his lips draw slow, and sweet kisses from him.

He certainly would not grab the boy as if he were a ragdoll.

Josh let out a cynical chuckle as he entered his home.

There was no point in even thinking of matters, because clearly, Tyler had zero interest in ever dating him.

Was it the way he looked? 

He stared at himself in the mirror.

Was it his face? Was he unnatractive? Was he just overall undesireable?

Maybe it was his personality.

Josh sighed and sat down on his bed. He was a shitty person, and an even shittier friend. He tucked his knees close to his chest and shut his eyes tight as his phone chirped with a new message.

He really wished he had enough strength to ignore the message but, of course, he did not.

_Tyler (3:42): sorry I didn't walk home with you after school :(_

_Josh (3:43): It's fine._

A lump in his throat formed as he pocketed his phone. 

_Tyler (3:45): wanna come spend the night?_

_Josh (3:47): Can't tonight, have lots of homework_

_Tyler (3:47): Really?_

No, not really.

_Josh (3:49): Yeah_

_Tyler (3:50): Okay.._

_Tyler (4:00): I love you_

Josh took a deep breath and clicked his phone screen off, looking up at the ceiling.

_Josh (4:04): I love you too_

He groaned and shut his phone off, setting it to the side and just laying down for a little bit.

//://

They didn't walk home together anymore.

They would've, if Tyler's boyfriend didn't insist on driving him home from school every day.

Josh rolled his eyes each time he saw the bright blue Toyota pass by, secretly hoping Chris would somehow lose his liscence.

But he never did.

There was a pretty girl in Josh's science class who seemed to have a crush on him. It was nice and all, but he simply didn't reciprocate the feelings. He told himself that maybe he would if they kissed.

So they kissed, and Josh felt less than nothing.

They rolled around on his bed, and when she shot him a mishevious look while reaching down for his pants, he felt gross.

She left, and he hated himself more than he hated the way the tree in the neighbor's yard sometimes looked like a person in the dark. He hated himself more than he hated bright blue Toyotas, and he hated himself more than he hated the blatant fact that he was shoving Tyler away purposefully, despite not wanting to do so.

He hated everything he had become.

He especially hated when Tyler made time for him, and made him smile and laugh, and how those were the only moments that Josh actually felt alive.

He hated it when he saw Tyler's cute little smile, knowing that it wasn't him that put it there. He loved the smile, but he couldn't stand seeing someone else get to appreciate it more than he did.

And that night, when he stood in front if his mirror, he realized that he maybe wanted to die. It would be better than dealing with the internal conflict that tore him apart each morning and murdered him each night, right before he went to sleep.

Hardly anyone would miss him, hardly anyone would pay attention to him. Maybe it would be a weight off of everybody's shoulders.

"Thank God we don't have to deal with Josh anymore," He could already hear them saying.

He looked to his left, at his backpack. He had a few pencil sharpeners. The razors were only connected by small screws - he could unscrew the razors and make himself bleed, and maybe he could get himself so deep that he wouldn't have to wake up in the morning.

Except he didn't get the chance to excecute his plan.

Because right as he began digging through his backpack, there was a knock at his door and Josh turned down the music coming from his speaker, promting the person to enter.

"Josh, Tyler's mom is on the phone for you. It's pretty serious," Josh's mom said, entering the room with a concerned look on her face.

Josh furrowed his brows and took the phone, already feeling uneasy.

"Hello?" He answered.

"Josh - sorry to disturb you so late in the evening, but Tyler just had another seizure that lasted a bit longer than usual, and he's not coming back from it as quickly as he usually does - I think it might be the stress of school, and also his father seemed to stop visiting, and - oh, anyways, he keeps calling for you. Is there anyway you could come over and maybe just talk to him for a little bit? I already asked your mom-"

"Yeah, I'll be there in a second-"

"-and she - oh, really? Great, thank you so much, Josh, this is such a huge help, you have no idea. I really appreciate it."

"No, problem, I'll see you in a bit," Josh hung up immediately and put the nearest pair of pants on, rushing out to the living room, where his mother was already waiting with the her car keys.

"You ready?" She asked.

Josh nodded, and the both of them headed out, with minimal conversation on the drive over.

Once they arrived, Josh's worries had only increased, causing him to open the door without knocking, and head right into Tyler's room, where he was laying, facing the wall. His eyes were glossed over, and his expression was severely bothered - it was controrted and fearful, and it put such strain on Josh's heart, to see him like this.

"Hey," He greeted softly, as his mother chatted with Tyler's mother in the kitchen.

Tyler blinked a few times and opened his mouth, but no sound came out. He squeezed his eyes tight and moved a hand towards Josh, but the second he tried to touch him, his body began convulsing again. Josh's heart beat out of his chest, as he took Tyler's hand and stood up, calling out for his and Tyler's mother.

Both of the women ran into the room, and Tyler's mom immediately began tearing up.

"He's having another seizure. He usually doesn't have more than one within a day, right?" He asked.

The woman nodded, "This is his third one within the hour - he's never had so many in such a short amount of time."

"Well, what should we do?" Josh asked.

She sighed deeply and cleared her throat, "I have to call his neurologist - hopefully she doesn't mind me calling so late." 

Josh's mother put a comforing hand on her back as the both of them exited the room, and Josh looked back down at his best friend, who now had active tears streaming down his face.

And all he could really do was stand there and watch, hoping that it stopped soon.

Five minutes and thirty seconds later, the convulsions stopped, and Josh was _petrified_. Yes, he was happy to see Tyler's body relax again, but five minutes and thirty seconds was one of the longest he had ever seen Tyler have. He silently prayed, hoping it was the last one.

"Tyler?" He asked, kneeling down.

There was no response. The grip on his hand loosened.

"Tyler?" He tried again, tapping his shoulder, "Can you hear me?" He knew it probably wasn't a good idea to wake the boy if his body was finally getting some rest, but he just needed to know that he was okay.

Still, he didn't respond. His body was still, and his chest fell and rose steadily, and maybe that was all Josh needed to be assured of, as he pushed some fringe out of his face, silently hoping he'd rest well.

A part of him couldn't even believe that Tyler was asking for _him_ , and not Chris. In fact, he felt rather proud of the fact.

He smiled softly to himself and then stood up, heading into the kitchen.

"How is he?" Tyler's mother asked, with a hand over her heart.

"He's sleeping, actually. Which is good, because I'm sure he needs it."

"Oh he does, believe me," She responded.

"What do you mean?" Josh's mother asked, turned to her and sipped her glass of wine.

"Well, he was devistated after Chris broke up with him. I feel so bad for him - he really liked that boy."

And Josh could've sworn he heard a record scratch in his head, "Wait, what happened?"

But the woman shrugged, "He didn't want to talk about it. All I know is that he came home sobbing today, and their relationship was over. But, you know what, I knew that kid was no good. I could see it in his eyes. He was so... shifty."

They were all silent for a moment, deep in thought.

"I'd much rather you date him, Josh."

"Hm?"

"I said, I'd much rather you date him. You already treat him so well," She said, as she began tearing up. "But it's okay, I know you two are just friends."

Josh nodded and silently walked back into Tyler's room, his smile long gone, and a newfound emptiness in his gut. He was nothing but skin tissue and some muscle, all resting on several different bones.

He was rather relieved to hear that Tyler and Chris were no longer dating, but to hear that Tyler was "devistated" brought him no comfort whatsoever. He may have been slightly upset with his best friend, but he would never in a million years wish any type of harm on the boy - physical or emotional.

Once he entered the room, he saw Tyler attempting to get out of bed. In the moment, he looked so fragile and sensitive, Josh just wanted to wrap him up and kiss away the tear tracks that stained his cheeks.

"Hey," Josh greeted softly, putting a gentle hand on Tyler's shoulder, "You should get some rest, Ty."

Tyler looked up at him a blinked a few times, before reaching up with his hands. "Josh," He called in a raspy voice, "Josh, c'mere."

Josh did as he was told, sitting on the bed next to him, and letting Tyler wrap him up in a warm embrace.

"I missed you," Tyler whispered, beginning to cry again, on Josh's shoulder.

"I missed you, too," He responded, trying to keep himself from shedding a tear.

They stayed like that for a few minutes, before Tyler wore himself out from crying so much, and Josh helped him lay back down, making sure his head was rested on two pillows.

"Josh," Tyler called again, reaching his hand out.

Josh took it into his own, "Yeah?"

"Don't leave," He mumbled, somewhat incoherently. Except it didn't need to be competely coherent for Josh to understand.

Because he always understood.

"I won't. I'll stay right here, okay?" 

Tyler shook his head, "No. Here. In bed."

Josh nodded and circled the bed, crawling in from the other side. With all of the strength he had left, Tyler turned himself around to cuddle himself into Josh's chest, shedding a few last tears.

"Don't leave," He requested again, pressing his lips to Josh's collar.

Josh's heart skipped a beat as he wrapped his arms tightly around Tyler. He wanted to hold him as closely as he could, and _protect, protect, protect_ this sensitive boy, who deserved protection.

"I won't ever leave you, Tyler, I promise," Josh responded, a lump forming in his throat.

Oh how he missed their cuddling and late-night conversations.

Tyler fell asleep again, for a longer and more substantial amount of time this time, which deeply comforted everybody else.

Almost two hours later, when Tyler woke up completely, he was extremely relieved to find Josh still right by his side, holding him tightly.

He sat up and wiped at his eyes, causing Josh to open his.

"Hey," Josh greeted, placing a gentle hand on Tyler's arm, "How are you feeling?"

Tyler nodded, "Definitely better. But, um. I realized something, actually. While I was... well, while I was having one of my seizures."

Josh sat up too, eager to hear whatever Tyler had to say.

"So... earlier in the day, I was at Chris's house. And he, um. He wanted to have sex. But-" He looked down and began playing with his fingers, "I didn't really want to. It's not that I didn't feel ready, I just... I dunno. I didn't really want my first time to be with him. He got really rough sometimes when we made out. Anyway, I got really nervous, and I guess it all kinda piled up, and then I had a seizure. There, at his house. And you were right. He didn't know what to do."

Although Josh was right, he didn't feel like it. As he watched Tyler tell the story with a sadness in his eyes, and a certain type of density in his tone, he became wary of why he was ever upset with Tyler in the first place.

I mean, how could you not always adore someone so precious?

"So, basically, he called my mom, and then she told him to bring me back here, which he did. And when he dropped me off, he basically told me that I was kinda too much for him. Which... I don't know. Made me feel really bad about myself. Anyway, I had a few more seizures, and here I am now."

Josh stared at him as he laid back down on the bed, prompting Josh to do the same, just like when they were kids.

"But... you'd never do that to me, Josh. You always... like tonight. You held my hand and you stayed right there, even though I've been blowing you off-"

"Tyler-"

"And I'm sorry that I did that to you, but my point is that I love you. And I'm sorry again. For being kind of an ass. But..." Tyler looked over at Josh and bit his lip, his eyes beginning to gloss over, "Thank you."

Josh leaned over and pecked Tyler softly on the forehead, "You're welcome. And I love you, too."

With a much more peaceful state of mind, Josh held Tyler tightly, as they resumed their previous position, only this time they both implored each other through a series of unadulterated eye contact.

It was such a beautiful night, and when the tree tapped on the window, Josh was not afraid.

Tyler ended up falling asleep again, because he really needed it, and they woke up the next morning to the soft sound of birds chirping somewhere near them.

Thankfully, it was a Sunday. Which meant staying in bed for longer than they were supposed to, eating larger breakfasts than they should've, and watching more TV than was called for. 

Tyler's mom left to go grocery shopping in the middle of the day, and Tyler immediately turned to Josh, taking his face into his hands.

Josh turned the TV off, facing Tyler. 

He had never felt so _looked at_. He had never been more of a center of attention than he was at the moment. 

"I love you, Josh," Tyler whispered.

"I love you, too, Tyler," Josh responded.

And _finally, finally, finally_ , their lips connected. Their smiles were both a tad too big for the kiss to go very deep, but they did end up striking a nice balance.

For several minutes, all that was present in the room was them, and the feeling of their lips moving against each other - a little bit of twisting, a little bit of pulling, and a little bit of biting.

"You're so soft," Tyler giggled.

Josh chuckled, placing a small kiss on Tyler's jawbone, "Do you like it?"

Tyler nodded.

"I knew you would."

They both laughed into each other's mouths, and nothing compared to the sense of peace theh felt.

"Let's go back to my room. I want you to tell me another story," Tyler suggested.

"Seriously?" Josh wondered, with a smirk.

"Yes, seriously. And it better be good." With one last kiss on the lips, the two of them headed into Tyler's bedroom, locking the door.

And Josh did begin telling a story.

"Upon another time..." He started with. 

And in the best possible way, his story got cut off, halfway through.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you all for reading! My tumblr is clinicallyforgotten so feel free to hit me up. Also I'd love to read any comments so don't be afraid!  
> Stay safe and alive, friends :)


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